Dear Babe,
You didn’t think you’ll be reading this so soon right after pouring your heart out at the end of 2007 did you? Neither did i actually. If I recall correctly, you’d just stumbled home from hanging out with your two fave boys K and A after going to Miss Meghan’s party and breakfast at that lil diner across Waverly. Congrats-you’ve survived a crazy year and are about to embark on an even more mindblowing, gutwrenching, rollercoaster whirlwind that is 2008.
(Look hun, I know I’ve the tendency to embellish my stories a lil but I’m getting overwhelmed even trying to figure out where to start.)
I’m tempted to delve straight into the fun bits and tell you what I’m sure you’re dying to know. How’s work going? How’s friends and family? Do you finally get a break and go back home? More importantly, did you meet him this year?
Well, yes and no. See here’s the good news: the things on your list of ‘things to do before I die’ is getting checked off at a greater rate than you thought was possible. The bad news? You still have this bad habit of only seeing the unchecked boxes and being hard on yourself. Gotta learn to brush it off your shoulders kitty.
There’s going to be a boy.
(Actually there will be a few but this one will stand out.)
You’ll meet him when you least expect it and he’s going to be strange and beautiful. I’m not going to lie, your life is going to revolve around him.
And ironically enough- it’s going to open your eyes to how the rest of the world revolves around you.
Its going to be a litmus test to everything else going on in your life. You’ll learn to see things with better perspective and a sense of humor. You’ll loosen up and start doing things because you want to and not fear what people think. You’ll unlearn some of the fears you had from the past and forgive yourself. You’ll learn to filter out the negative energy in your life and appreciate the good things because fuck it, you do have an amazing life with great friends, family and doing what you love. You’ll finally get the meaning of that Oscar Wilde quote: “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”
More importantly, you’ll learn to live your life for you.
I know the big question is whether he’ll break your heart or not. If he’s a good guy or a bad guy. So here’s one of the big lessons of 08 I’m distilling for you- there’s no black or white, it just is. What’s more revealing is how you’ll react to it and why. I guess that pretty much speaks for itself eh? Don’t worry hun, trust me- it was worth it.
And no, you do not lose your soul. You’ll take up pole-dancing instead 
So remember how we’d came to the conclusion for all the shit you had to go through the past 2 years, you’ve came out only better and stronger? Well this is the year where you got to put your money where your mouth is. Its time to actually apply the lessons so far and stand up when it counts. Which you’ll actually do quite well- I have to admit even I’m surprised by you. Best compliment of the year you’ll get? “No, I don’t think you’re a pushover. You do tell me off when you’re mad.”And you WILL get mad.
This will be a year where you do get extremely angry. You’ll get frustrated and disappointed. You’ll wallow in some bouts of self-pity and angry-asian-chick moments. On the bright side, its also means that you’ll get so pissed off you’ll actually do something about it. Or stop to realize that there’s no point in having negative energy if its out of your control. We both know how far we’d come to get that stage…. Next big goal for 2009? Learning to really let go and surrender.
I’ll be honest with you hun, you’ll reach the end of the year pretty tired and emotionally drained. You’re going to have done so many incredible things in 2008 that few have the opportunity to do so and there’s no where else to go but just forward. But you’re also going to feel blue about the losses and ‘if-onlys’ and wondering what 09 can possibly hold for you in comparison. You’ll sneak a glance at your Blackberry every few seconds or so to see who has you on their minds to wish a happy new year. Wanna know something cool though?
You’re going to pause,
look up
and see that you’re spending the last day of an incredibly chaotic year
sitting in a spacious apartment in Houston
with Papa right in front of you watching his usual history documentaries.
And for all the triumphs and tragedies of the year, all the hopes and fears are going to fade into the background.
Because for the moment, you’re back to being that innocent 12 year old girl sitting next to her dad and know in her gut that everything’s going to be just fine.
Love always,
You
P.S. Know how you’ve always hated being called ‘Nice Noorin”? Screw that- you’re going to realize that’s one of the essentials bits of being you. Don’t bother trying to change yourself even when people say the world’s too tough and evil to be the good one. Stay as you are and just be the change you want to see in this world then.
